Monday, May 14, 2007

Strip Club Etiquette for Boyfriends

See also: Strip Club Etiquette for Customers
and: Why Guys Go To Strip Clubs

Your girlfriend has no problem getting naked in front of any man when she’s on her pedestal in the strip club. Any man, that is, except you. There is only one man in the world (other than family members obviously) she gets insecure dancing in front of – and that’s you. She cares what you think of her. But couldn’t care less about the other men.

For this reason alone, you should either stay away from the clubs where she’s working or learn some strip club etiquette. The following rules are good to know if you plan on spending any time in strip clubs while you’re involved with your stripper girlfriend.

  1. Don’t sit in front row except for her show and only if she tells you it’s okay.
  2. Buy tickets for private shows from other dancers but don’t take the dance if you win. If she has to do a dance by club rules, give it to someone else and remind that person to tip her.
  3. Don’t tell the other dancers that your girlfriend is a dancer just to try and look cool or get a dancer to talk to you. She’ll just think you’re hitting on her and it will make your girlfriend look like an idiot for dating you. The exception to this rule is if you’ve met the dancer through your girlfriend and you’re saying hi but have to remind her how you know her.
  4. Don’t sit in front row. Yes, I already said this one, but it’s worth emphasizing.
  5. Don’t instigate arguments with your girlfriend when she’s at work. It makes you look like a chump and her like an idiot for dating you. Not to mention it’s hard to do this job with negative energy thrown at you like that.
  6. Don’t mouth words at your girlfriend when she’s on stage – especially angry words. Let her do her job in peace. Enjoy the show secure in the knowledge that she’s coming home with you. If you can’t handle it, then you should set her free.
  7. Don’t hoot and holler for posters. Clap and whistle for sure. But don’t act like a drunk orangutan. Leave that to the single guys. If you go with friends, tell them to give $5 to the dancers if they want a poster.
  8. Do not drink excessive amounts till you a) fall asleep at your table, b) start talking in drunkanese, c) get in a fight or get beat up, or d) make a drunken pass at a waitress or dancer.
  9. Don’t stare at dancers and waitresses asses or tits when they’re walking through the clubs. It’s disrespectful to your girlfriend. Even though she may not be there with you, the other dancers will feel sorry for her for being your girlfriend. Watch shows, clap, be respectful – but have some dignity and control.
  10. If you invite a dancer who is your girlfriend’s friend to your table, buy the woman a drink. And don’t hit on her or talk about sex or generally behave like a cheating loser.

Dancers are turned OFF by guys who can’t control their alcohol and/or their hormones. It is very embarrassing for a dancer when her boyfriend has no strip club class. Guys who are in control of their drinking and hormones and behave with respect and dignity in general will always be respected and appreciated by dancers.

It doesn’t mean we don’t like the guys who are hollering like crazy for our posters, or admiring our booty as we walk through the audience, or the ones who sit in front row. We love all those guys. We just wouldn’t want them to behave that way when they’re dating us. We want our guys to stand out from the rest – be different from the guys who worship the dancers in the clubs every day.

And it doesn’t change when the dancer has hung up her stilettos either. I performed my last show three years ago and I still expect my man to have strip club etiquette. I suspect that all women would like to know their boyfriends/husbands are behaving with the etiquette listed above when they go to strip clubs.

When I see a stag at one of the clubs and the groom has some class, I admire him for his control and commitment to his wife-to-be. The grooms who are trying to grab the dancers or offering money for sex – those are the guys who scare me off marriage. They make all men look bad.

So have some strip club class and don’t be an ass. Your girlfriend will thank you for it later.


Tyler said...

Trina those are some great points! Not only for guys who are dating dancers but for guys in general.

Especially the guys that fall asleep in gyno row! Or is it that they pass out??

Trina Ricketts aka Annie Temple said...

Thanks Tyler!

Anonymous said...

My stripper girlfriend, whom I met at the club, BEGS me not to come by the club.

It was hard for me, because I've been literarily going to the club after work almost everyday for the past couple of years. (yeah yeah I'm young single horny lazy with disposable income)

I haven't gone in for a couple of months, but now that she's beginning to sound more relaxed about it, I think I'm heading back in.

Thanks for the tips.

Bruce said...

I "fell in love" with a woman in my gym who I then found out was a stripper. The truth is, it was a turn off to me. But part of me wonders if the negative stereotypes surrounding strippers is correct.

I playfully blogged about it on my website. One question,are the sterotypes (my fears) correct? Can(generally speaking) strippers have healthy relationships? Or are they no less f_cked up than doctors, lawyers and accountants.

Annie Temple said...

Hi Bruce, I really think it depends on the woman. Some women find it difficult to have healthy relationships in this industry, while others have found and married the loves of their lives. You'd have to be a self-assured man who doesn't give in to jealousy and acts of control. For the dancer, her job is really honestly just a job. It can impact her relationships with men for good or for bad or both. But I'd say life is like that.

bruce said...

Thanks for the response, Annie.
Check out my stripper story if you have a chance.
I mean it in good humor.

funnebone said...

Great post. I will have to come back and read more. Here is some advice for introducing a stripper girlfriend to the family.

funnebone said...

How to make your stripper girlfriend presentable to your family

Annie said...

Hi Funnebone,

I read the advice you posted. Sorry, but I didn't find it funny at all. It was just another stereotypical piece at the expense of exotic dancers. I thought I was going to read something worthwhile about truly introducing the stripper gf to the family. I've been the gf being introduced twice now. If anything, the stripper gf should be prepared for the family - not the other way around. Strippers generally have excellent social skills - that's why they make so much money. ;) You wouldn't want your family to scare off one of the most intelligent, funny, sexy women you've ever met!

funnebone said...

You are right. That is what makes it humor. People in general have no idea
about the world of adult entertainment. Many of the things I did write about
were actual events though, but not all dancers are dumb girls and not all
dumb girls are dancers. I can understand if you are hurt, but it was written
to be funny, that's all.

Anonymous said...

I looked at that link from funnebone in the comments and I thought it was both not funny and really offensive.

You might want to reconsider leaving that link in comments as part of your blog.

I believe that is a "pay per views" adsense site and you are giving someone who seems to hate women free publicity/hits for his nasty commentary and paying him by leaving it in.

Your blog itself was a good and useful read.

funnebone said...

haha now it is hate women...i think it was a funny satire, to say I hate women because of it its funnier than anything I can write. Whoever left that really needs to loosen up.

Annie Temple said...

Funnebone, just so you know, I wasn't hurt, I just don't see the humour. Thanks for explaining the intent more clearly. I still don't really find it humourous. I'm not trying to insult your ability to be funny at all. It's just that from my perspective, even though I recognized the satirical element to the piece, it just wasn't funny to me.

To the other person who thinks I should remove the link - I am tempted just so no one else deliberately insults funnebone. It's more important to me that my blog does not become a venue for slinging criticisms at anyone other than me (because of course i'm opening up myself to criticism by having unmoderated posts on my blog) lol. The truth is that I welcome opposing views on this blog so I can respond and discuss. I love a debate.

I will leave the link because I don't think it is necessary to remove it. While I think it is comparable to a racist joke in some respects because most racial jokes are based on stereotypes. But I do not think it was intended to be disrespectful and I prefer to take this opportunity to educate any readers (about being sensitive to jokes like that) rather than be offended.

JRM said...

Totally and completely fascinating, Annie. Do you think it's the same way for male strippers with their girlfriends at their club? I'm guessing it is...

Annie Temple said...

I really have no idea what it's like for male dancers. I would love if one would comment and let us know!

bunkerman said...

This is just great advice. A girl I see casually is a smoking hot 19 y/o pole dancer. She invited me to the club before we ever were intimate.

1. Lay off the lap dances and don't be caught dead in a private room.

2. If your a funny guy leave the wiseguy remarks at home because if something goes wrong on stage while she is in all her glory she sure as shit doesn't need you to point it out.

3. She's working, let the girl earn her money.

4. Everyone in the joint is a critical judge of female beauty but you make damn sure that SHE KNOWS one guy (you) thinks she is the classiest lady in the club.

5. Never be judgemental. Lets see you could be dating a girl who doesn't shave her legs or lets herself go etc.

Best of Luck.

Annie Temple said...

Great added advice, Bunkerman! You sound like a great guy. ;)

Lisa said...

Hello Annie!
I have read a few of your blogs now. I have recently become interested in working at a gentelemen's club. I was leaning more towards being a server because I don't think I would make a good dancer. But, do you have any advice for me? Good tips for landing a job, or anything I would find helpful? Thank you!

Annie Temple said...

Hi Lisa,

I'm not sure what advice to give for getting a job serving in a strip club except maybe dress sexy for the interview? lol Good luck! Feel free to log on to the naked truth to see get more industry perspective and share yours too!

STL said...

Great blog.. Most of the tips were basically common sense for me. I now work at a strip club as the main DJ, but before that, everytime I came in, I never asked for numbers, tried taking anyone home, didn't do any private dances or stage dances but always tipped WELL for their time.

Now I'm dating a girl that works with me there. In a way I think it would be easier if I didn't work there, so I wouldn't ever be tempted to be jealous of what I see. I'm not a jealous guy at all, but everyone has their bad days and a little bit of jealousy doesn't help things!!

I agree with what you said about not needing to worry about preparing the family to meet the stripper girlfriend, but preparing the girlfriend. I'm a little too honest so they already know what she does. They constantly bug me about meeting her, but I'm worried about what they'll say to her, and if they'll end up scaring her off with all their religious talk and morals. Any tips for that??

She's a great girl and I hate all the stereotypes people automatically associate with her. When someone says something idiotic and stereotypical about her, it really offends me too. Its sad that jokes can be cracked at dancers, for just having that job. Every dancer I've met is just like any other girl, except smarter, more confident, and great conversationalists.

Annie Temple said...

Thanks for commenting, STL. :) I think it's hard not to get jealous in any relationship. At least you are trying to rationalize it and not let it take you over. I have to fight the jealousy thing all the time too. I remind myself that it's my own insecurity that's causing it. I'd say that if your gf is scared off by your religious parents, you are not meant to be. You wouldn't believe the things we'll put up with for love. xo

Anonymous said...

I am a boyfriend of a stripper. Sometimes I do visit her workplace. Although I am cool with what she is doing, when I am at her club I always feel a bit uncomfortable when she gets naked in front of dozens of guys. At the other side there is some male pride thinking `thats my girl, you can all lust, but I am the one taking her home´. She always says she likes it very much when I am there. At the same time she makes it clear that when I am in the club, I am a customer to her, a very special one, but still a customer. In the beginning this offended me, but I realize it is her place to make money. I am always a bit weary that I am interfering.
I always tip her well for her great performance.
All sounds a bit complicated, but bottom line is that we always have great fun together at her club.

Annie Temple said...

That's an interesting way to handle the bf in the club! So you go in, make like you're a customer. Tip here well and take her home? Meanwhile, she has to work and you admit to some feelings of jealousy but you control them because you have an open, honest relationship? Sounds wonderful to me! Great job! We should have a Favourite Adult Entertainer's Partner award on ;)