Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Interview

I was interviewed yesterday by for a position called "Community Building Editor." The position title says it all and it's right up my alley. I have no idea if I'll get the job, but I feel that the interview went well. I was very intrigued by the job - it sounds challenging and fun.

I also found that I respected both of the people who interviewed me very much. They both obviously have a passion for their cause, citizen journalism - a revolutionary media strategy that invites anyone and everyone to submit their stories from the first person perspective. I have submitted a few stories myself and so I was very excited when they invited me to apply for the job.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, including broken hearts. If I get this job, I will work hard to make a leading news source for the world. If I don't get this job, I will continue to write (including writing for Orato) and know that my path lies elsewhere.

I'm feeling much better about my life today. Last night I surrendered to unconditional love and my heart isn't as broken today. Healing isn't instantaneous though, as we all know, so I will be gentle with my soul.

I was smoking for almost four days even though I quit in January. But I stopped again yesterday and have no desire for a cigarette today. I smoked to mask the emotional pain with physical pain. It worked while I needed it to and now I don't need it.

Slashing would be much more painful and might land me in a mental institution. But I can relate to slashing. It makes sense to me. Funny how emotional pain leads to a desire for physical pain. Fuck me hard. Bite me. Scratch me. Spank me. Whatever you do, just don't be gentle with my body. Be gentle with my soul.

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