Saturday, July 7, 2007

Marriage Vows

I'm trying to write a poem for my brother's wedding, so just for fun and to get into the right mind frame, I thought I'd write a "marriage vows" poem of what I think marriage vows should really be. I came up with a lovey-dovey version and a joke version. Here they are: (neither of these will be used for my brother's wedding!)

What the marriage vows should really say:

I promise to love, respect, and support you, be faithful, tolerant, and tell the truth
Allow you to be an individual and think your faults are cute

I will love you unconditionally and always keep my word
Your hazards and hopes, disappointments and dreams will never go unheard

I will believe in you and cheer you on for all you will achieve
And when you’re barely hanging on, you can always turn to me

I will be your partner, your lover, your friend, and your mate
When you’re sick or burnt out, I’ll let you sleep late

When you’re sad, I promise to be gentle with your soul
And when you’re self-destructive, I will try not to be cold


What the marriage vows should really say:

I promise to love, honour, respect you and try not to call you names
Occasionally make your meals, and limit the mind games

I promise to pick up your socks, fold your laundry, and make your bed
And when you do the housework, I promise to give you head

I promise to listen to you rant and rave over nothing important at all
And when I feel like you’ve hurt me, I promise to go to the mall

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I also wrote an ongoing list of things you SHOULD NOT do till you're married (if then). Here is what I have so far:

§ If you really love a song and will most likely love it for the rest of your life, don’t have “a song” with a boyfriend. If you break up, you’ll never be able to enjoy that song again.

§ Get a tattoo of your partner’s name on your body. Something most of my family members already did, so it’s too late for them. At least a couple of them GOT married after though.

§ Give your kids their father’s last name.

§ Don’t have sex on video. Even if you destroy the tape during a breakup, you will always wonder if there’s another copy floating around. (Think “Night in Paris” with Paris Hilton – you might be famous one day.)

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