Saturday, August 11, 2007

I'm Just Going To Sing

Dedicated to Gracie Howse

I'm just going to find joy
In what I've got
In what I see
In front of me
I'm just going to let go
Of what I've fought
Of what I've grieved
Inside of me
I'm just going to realize
That we're all the same
Say goodbye to the pain
And delight in the rain
I'm just going to ride on
And make my way
And I will pray
Forget yesterday
I'm just going to work hard
For what I dream
What's right for me
That's how I'll be
I'm just going to rise up
And face the world
And bless the world
Be a good girl

For when my walls are crashing down around me
And all I want to do is run, run away
All I have to do is close my eyes
And sing this song again.

Finding joy in what I've got is about not regretting what my life is now. What I see in front of me is my family, my health, opportunities to express my passions, so much good. Letting go of what I've fought is about the experiences and memories that fill me with rage. I want to let those go. What I've grieved refers to loss - the loss of my friend Jocelyne, the loss of trust in my relationship, the loss of never having a baby again after my tubes are tied, stuff like that.

When I realize that we're all the same, I'm talking about how we are glasses full from the endless ocean of God. We are all of the same divine source. And we are all capable of unlimited abundance and creations as little pieces of God. We are all connected because everything is created by God and God inside of us. That means all our man-made stuff is sacred too because it was created by God in all of us. And we can take pride in what others have created because they are us and we are them.

When I say goodbye to the pain, I'm using the realization that we're all the same to forgive and show love. Delight in the rain - that's me celebrating every wonder of life including the wonder of rain, which I generally never celebrate.

I'm riding on - a Harley, a wave, a skateboard - it doesn't matter what I'm riding on, but I'm going to make my way. This means I will be liberated from controlling every aspect of my life. I will trust that our universal source will take care of the details for me as I find joy in life. I will pray along the way - not, "dear God, please bless Mommy and Daddy and this food we are eating" but "dear God, thank you for all that I have." But to be thankful I have to forget yesterday. Mourning about yesterday does not make me feel thankful. It makes me miserable.

So to have focus in my life, I'm going to work hard for what I dream - be that a home on an acreage, a book deal, laughter, friendship, or love. I will work hard for all my dreams. I will choose the dreams I have for myself, not the dreams others have for me. They will be dreams that are right for me. That's how I'll be. I will spend more time on writing my book. I will do what I love to do and let God take care of the details, and trust that I will realize all my dreams.

So I will just rise up and face the world - strong because I know we are all the same. And my fruits will bless the world because I am a piece of God, and anything I create out of love and passion will only naturally bless the world.

So I will be a good girl - good to everyone because I will have forgotten the past.

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