Saturday, October 20, 2007
To Be An Event Coordinator
I had lists for what to print, what to put in my "event box," what to bring to the event, what to purchase, what to wear. Some of my list titles included: Entertainment: exotic dance, pole dance demo, fashion show, blowjob lesson. Booths: Sex Toy, Costume Design, Airbrush Tattoos, Hair and Makeup, Eyelashes, Massage, Lap Dance, Pole Dance, Silent Auction, Gown Auction, Info Table, Money Table.
There was a list of items for the gift bags, items for the silent auction, items for door prizes. There was the guest list and the list of what to print was a long one too. There were the bid sheets and auction descriptions, the emcee speech, the schedule, a few gift certificates for the silent auction that I had electronically, and much more.
At the club, I panicked when it was fifteen minutes to opening and we hadn't made posters for the silent auction or the door. The poster board was in my car - and I was in lingerie, which I realized just as I was heading out the door towards the parking lot. So I begged the security guy to run and grab it for me. Thank YOU Security Guy!
Most people wanted to have very detailed, specific instructions on how to setup - what needed to be done. Luckily there were a few people there who could just be told what needs to be done and do it with no more encouragement than that. Thank YOU Ryann Rain (and others)!
What went wrong - well, nothing really. I mean, two makeup volunteers were sick. A few other volunteers jammed out for sickness and whatnot. The powerpoint wouldn't work in the DVD player. And the projector couldn't be rigged adequately. I forgot the cash boxes at home. One of the auction items hadn't arrived in time f0r the event, so I will have to send it to the winner. We could have used another extension cord, but we actually somehow managed without - despite at least five requests during setup.
The microphone was giving a lot of feedback. There was a few spaces in time when no one was on stage giving pole dance lessons and even a portion of time where I filled in that role.
One of the volunteers showed up in crisis, which could have proven to really bring us down before the event. But she pulled herself together and helped us out a lot. One of the PACE people was very upset about the men standing around at the end of the bar. And the manager became offended when I explained it to him.
I can honestly say, that none of those things really got to me. I had some moments of "ugh." And I knew I needed to take a moment to myself when that happened. But I shed no tears. I did not become angry. I did not let the low energies of others to bring me down. I did not make anyone feel bad for cancelling. After all, I would not want to do something out of obligation. And I would not want others to either.
But even though I felt remarkably loving through it all, I still felt full of anxiety. It was the panic attacks. Those damn things. I'd like to use Wayne Dyer's advice and find a way to heal myself but damn, I'm sick of having panic attacks. They make me feel slightly unreasonable, and very much emotionally out of control.
I was especially pannicked about the guests. Only three people had shown up by 6:30. It was between 7:00 and 7:30 that we finally started to see people filing consistently through the door. In the end, we did not have as many guests as we hoped. I was disappointed.
But I think my frequent self-talks of assurance helped me get through it all. The occasional swings around the pole to burn off the adrenaline helped too. I didn't need to take an ativan that night, and I haven't since either.
So, the end of the night arrives and I am exhausted. I carried all my stuff out to my car myself. Other than a few instructions on what to do with what, I was quite suddenly, for the most part, all on my own. What an anti-climax!
I drove home promising I would never coordinate another event bigger than a birthday party, as long as I live. And two days later, I still haven't had a good sleep because I'm forever at the event, doing things differently or going through some of the same.
This could very well be one of the most boring posts I've ever written, but it is my sincere hope that the rehashing of the event here will liberate my mind for thoughts elsewhere. The house is a mess, my son has a fever and an asthma cough, we're expecting a few guests for the fight tonight, and I haven't even bathed yet today.
Time to get back to life!