Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Retired Stripper Blues

No matter how much we bitch and moan about the outrages of the exotic dance industry, when we leave it...we get the blues.

We can't wait to get away from the bullshit that goes along with being a dancer. But wherever we go, there is bullshit to be had. Most other jobs out there have equal amounts of bullshit in their policies or procedures. Most ignore at least some of the labour laws. The exotic dance industry is no different from other businesses if you look at it from a business perspective. So clearly, there's no escape from occupational outrage no matter where you work.

All jobs being equal - there are very good reasons why we experience "the retired stripper blues." I will attempt to list a few here:

We Miss Performing

Oh yes, we miss it very much! All that seductive playfulness we use to tittilate our audiences. The stage. The lights. The applause! Dancing to the music. Wielding our pussy power as we crawl around the stage. It's a lot of fun! And we miss it very much.

We Miss the Money

It may not be "easy" money, but it's quick money. And every now and then, it's a good deal of money, all at once - when a very generous gentleman has emerged. ;)

We Miss the Flexibility

Booking a week off whenever we want - oh, those were the days! Now, at my straight job I have to beg for a weekend off and am often told "no."

We Miss the Attention

Being told you're beautiful every day is a wonderful thing. It's too bad most husbands and boyfriends don't seem to know this. It's easy sometimes to forget you're a beautiful woman when you don't have random strangers reminding you of it every day. lol

We Miss the Exercise

Everyone knows that regular exercise is your best defense against stress or disease. When I was dancing, I was rarely ill. My job was fun and I kept in great shape. Now I have a new mantra - It doesn't matter if I get fat. I'll just be a hot fat chick! hahaha

We Miss Dressing Up Every Day

We women love making ourselves beautiful in gorgeous clothes and meticulous makeup. As exotic dancers, we got to do this every day. Not only were our clothes beautiful, but we had matching bras and panties that we got to show off to every one in the audience too! Not many women get to put on high heels and sequins at work. It's an occupational perk. (ooh, and we can write off our beautiful costumes and shoes, bras and panties, tanning, makeup, wigs, hair appointments, gas, food, travel expenses and more!)

We Miss Shocking People

One of the best things about being a dancer is telling people what you do for a living. Of course, most dancers are strategic about who they tell, but when they drop that bomb, they're always in for a good laugh and a story to tell in the change room about other people's reactions. It's fun to be viewed as the bad girl. Especially when you know that deep down, you're just like every other woman - neither good nor bad. It's just that no one else seems to realize this. (our little joke on the rest of the world)

We Miss Our Regular Customers

Yep. We do. And it's really hard to leave them behind. You see, at least when we were working, it was okay for us to talk to all these men outside of our personal relationships. But when you're a retired dancer, it can be hard to keep these friendships alive. A lot of boyfriends and husbands just don't understand the platonic nature of these friendships (at least from their women's perspectives), so they don't support the continuation of such relationships. We miss our regulars.

We Miss the Other Dancers

Exotic dancers are pros at laughter and good conversation. And we save the best for each other. Hanging out in the change room between shows and being with other open-minded, intelligent, funny chicks - well, it's good for the soul. We really miss the other dancers. That's what TNT is good for. It's a retired dancer's good old friend. But it's not the same as the laughter and love that is shared in the change rooms.

Ohhhh. I got the retired stripper blues. :(

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is so true! Every once in a while I put on my 7" heels and dance around the house naked, it's very nostalgic. I really miss the performing aspect of it! And the money, of course.

Anonymous said...

Oh how this is oh so true. I just read this article and I had to pick my face up off the floor. Every single word was true. Exactly how i feel. I use to hate it, everything about it, complained constantly and now, i miss it.

Anonymous said...

I am 48, and I "retired" at 43 to go back to grad school after stripping off-and-on since age 24. I agree with every single point made on this great post and I certainly have the retired stripper blues! I missed dancing so much the first couple years that once in a while I had dreams about it and even cried a couple times. I should start a Strippers Anonymous! Honestly there is much to be said about the career. I saved tens of thousands of dollars while maintaining the utmost flexibility as a full-time rock climber. It was a fun life. I think too that I learned a lot about human nature and interpersonal interactions. Occasionally...er..."finishing" while getting paid to give a lap dance wasn't a terrible thing either, lol...

$exy $adie said...

Miss it every day.Life is so boring now.I eas the Queen of the strippers in Seattle,WA.till the Feds broke up my party.I never got one ticket.Because, I eas very very bad girl.