Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Beauty Myth

Lights, Heels, Illusion!

I don't know how many times I've been told I don't look like a stripper. At first I didn't know whether to be flatterered or offended. But I suppose if you don't spend a lot of time in strip clubs, you may not know that exotic dancers come in all different shapes, sizes, and shades. You may suspect that all exotic dancers look like Barbie.

In which case you are wrong.

While it is true that exotic dancers often have a lot of pressure to dye their hair blonde and straighten it, buy boobs and otherwise maintain difficult proportions, tan religiously and appear as young as possible at all times - the reality is exotic dancers are real women. This is not airbrushing and photoshop. You cannot make cellulite and pimples disappear on a stripper. You can minimize the noticeability of the above-mentioned, but you cannot completely erase.

Some dancers are tall, and some are short. Some are well-rounded (and I don't mean personality), and some are very lean. Some have small breasts (bordering on just nipples), and some have very large breasts - bought and inherited. They come in blondes, brunettes, redheads, and punks. All the races and ethnicities are represented.

And the men love them all.

What's really cool about the exotic dance industry, is that it proves that all women are beautiful. It proves that all women have sexual power, and that confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

You may not believe me. You may say, "I have seen a lot of strippers and they are way hotter than me." And what I would respond with is this: "The only thing those strippers have on you is confidence (and that can be faked) and a few beauty tips you may not know about."

As I said above, confidence can be faked. Here is how:

- Don't act jealous, even when you feel jealous. Insecurity is very unattractive. An exotic dancer may get just as jealous as the next woman, but she will never let anyone see it. That would be humiliating!

-Stand long and tall like your head is reaching for the sky, with your shoulders relaxed. This is how you should sit, walk, and dance. Sometimes just faking it can make you feel more confident. Exotic dancers know that if they appear insecure, their shows will bomb and the energy in the room will be horrible. You never let your audience know you're feeling insecure about that bloating or that ass zit. ;)

-Look people in the eyes when you speak to them. And smile. Exotic dancers use this easy method to let the men in the clubs know that they are not intimidated by them and that they are in control of themselves at all times. It is part safety method - to let the men know not to fuck with you but also let them know that you are nice and willing to entertain them as long they don't fuck with you. Appearing strong and confident can help keep you safe by deterring aggressive men.

-Don't take abuse from people and don't feel you need to defend yourself. When you're wrong, say sorry. When you're not wrong, walk away. It's not worth fighting over. Showing you don't care about other peoples' petty issues is a sign of confidence. (Not everyone must like you or be proved to be assholes.) Exotic dancers will always defend themselves when a customer is vulgar or touchy-feely. But when a drunk idiot degenerates into insult-slinging (at what a fucking whore the dancer is for not letting him cop a feel), she walks away. Like Holy Crap! That guy needs to go home and sleep it off.

-Be nice to other women. When you are nice to other women, it shows that you are not competing with them. It shows that you respect and appreciate other women without feeling threatened by them. Exotic dancers will let each other know if there are assholes in the club or where the tipping customers are sitting. The friendly, supportive relationships between dancers is one of the best perks of the job.

A few other beauty tips:

-High heels force your hips to come forward causing you to appear thinner and taller.
-Bend at the waist when picking something off the ground.
-Tanning reduces the appearance of stretch marks and cellulite.
-Getting tattoos over cellulite reduces the appearance of cellulite.
-Using deodorant on a fresh shave reduces razor burn.
-Putting sunscreen on your tattoos helps the colour not to fade.
-Never let your bare ass touch a dirty surface (zits).
-Fake eyelashes are wonderful (if you can get them on, which I can't)
-Lighting is VERY important.
-Keep your toenails painted nicely.

So, I hope this clears up any myths regarding exotic dancers and beauty. All women have the power to be beautiful. They just need to see the beauty in themselves. Or fake it until they do. ;)


Jess said...

I start stripping sunday. I'm a 34 A and definitely don't have a perfectly flat tummy. Your blog made me feel much better about myself :) I'm just going to fake my confidence until I make it. Thank you!

Annie Temple said...

Thank YOU for the compliment on the blog! Good luck on Sunday! Just remember that some guys will LOVE you and others won't. Every guy has a different type of dancer he's into. Personality counts for the most. Be sure to smile and make eye contact and the rest comes naturally. xoxo

Anonymous said...

I got married 2 months ago and, for some reason, started to feel less sexy. My hubby went to a strip club 3 times in the past year and I wasn't really sure how to feel about it at first. I'm going to remember that "confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac". Annie, your blog is really empowering: you've nailed a feminist perspective that I can relate to. Thank you :)

Annie said...

Thanks for the compliments! I think I need to come back and re-read this one once in awhile to remind myself! lol xoxo

Anonymous said...

Thanks you so much for this

Annie Temple said...

You're welcome!