Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The NEW Naked Truth!

Due to a miscommunication between me and my former and current web hosting providers, The New Naked Truth website was launched much sooner than expected. It is now a social community, much like facebook, except it is for adult entertainers (read "sex industry"), industry members, allies, and patrons.

In just a few short days, the site is already quite active with 95 members and growing. You are all invited to become members on The Naked Truth. And guess what, there's even a classifieds section.

xo

The Naked Truth strives to encourage, support, inform, and advocate for adult entertainers through connecting community members and allies; challenging stereotypes; providing ethical employment opportunities; and collaborating with other businesses for a thriving adult entertainment industry.


The Naked Truth is a resource and advocacy website for adult entertainers that was created by an exotic dancer in 2001.
Annie Temple started it when she recognized a need in her community for a resource and support network. She believed that a website could meet those needs because exotic dancers travel a lot, and the work can be very isolating.

In The Beginning

It is very common to show up at an out-of-town gig and be completely blindsided by rules or accommodations that you weren’t made aware of when you got booked there. Annie wanted to create a website that would enable entertainers to share information about what to expect at different clubs around the world.

It would not only be a resource and support system for exotic dancers, but it would challenge stereotypes and serve as an advocacy site as well. It was a big idea that started very small.

Within a very short amount of time, The Naked Truth rose in popularity among exotic dance industry members and patrons of the industry alike. It also became obvious that many exotic dancers work in other aspects of adult entertainment, such as webcam or modeling. Hence, the term “adult entertainer” is used to be more inclusive of members.


For Adult Entertainers

On The Naked Truth, entertainers are encouraged to post their experiences at different gigs around the world and share what to expect with other entertainers. We’ve built a support system to counter the stigma we experience in our day-to-day lives – from the community in general, and from our loved ones as well.

To give you an idea of the kind of emotional support we are able to provide, adult entertainers are often falsely assumed to be drug addicts or sexually promiscuous. As an entertainer, you can’t usually talk about your job with your family or significant other because they get angry or insulting.

While entertainers are all quite aware that our jobs are just our jobs, everyone else seems to think otherwise. So it is a comfort to us all when we can discuss the ups and downs of this work with people who understand our experiences.

Similarly, we can empower ourselves and each other by acknowledging that no matter what the “moral majority” might say, we know what we are doing is not bad. Theories that insist exotic dancing is inherently exploitive are merely theories served up by people with no exotic dance experience. Reality is very different.

The Naked Truth

We feel empowered through our work, not degraded. In fact, most of us admit to feeling much more degraded in mainstream occupations such as administration, service and hospitality, retail, and more.

The majority of our customers are decent, respectful, and courteous. They are not evil, woman-hating exploiters. Evil, woman-hating exploiters don’t last long in the upbeat, fun atmosphere of a strip club.

In The Naked Truth forums, we find solidarity. We support each other’s right to enjoy our jobs, offer advice on how to handle different challenges, and share each other’s sadness when things in our personal lives turn sour.

We basically provide the kind of friendship we usually only receive in the change-rooms from one week to the next working in isolation all over the world. On The Naked Truth, we are a family.

Community Building

In 2004, when a former entertainer and close friend found out she was terminally ill with cancer, we planned an elaborate fundraising event in her honour to cheer her up.

All the organizing was done as a group through The Naked Truth forums. It brought our community together for a bigger purpose and gave us all an opportunity to take part in reducing the harm of cancer in the world. Jocelyne died later that year, and Exotic Dancers for Cancer became an annual event in her memory.

We also hold an annual “Best Places to Work” contest and post the results on the website, so that patrons can choose ethical businesses to spend their money in and entertainers can acknowledge our favourite employers.

The Naked Truth has become a widely recognized industry resource all over the world, but especially in Canada. As founder of the site, Annie Temple is frequently contacted to address issues that impact exotic dancers in Canada.

Reporters often interview her for stories related to the industry. Organizations like Vancity have contacted her to discuss their policies around businesses associated with the industry. And hundreds of people have emailed her praising the efforts of The Naked Truth community to raise awareness and funds for cancer initiatives.

Through community discussion in The Naked Truth forums and collaboration with the British Columbia government, Annie successfully lobbied for revisions to the regulations in the Liquor Primary Licensee Guide pertaining to exotic show lounges. Her efforts resulted in regulations that - are less vague and outdated, increase safety of entertainers, and allow tipping and distribution of promotional items during shows.

Different Forms of Feminism

Many women have condemned the sex industry in the name of feminism. Feminists still exist today that work to abolish all forms of sex industry work at the expense of other women’s incomes and dignity. Feminist theories about objectification and porn equalling violence have pushed their ways into mainstream rhetoric, conditioning people to believe these theories are facts.

This leads to internalized oppression. In other words, even though we look at our work as something empowering and enjoyable, we’ve been conditioned to be ashamed of our work and to consider ourselves “bad girls” for doing this work.

We may even start asking ourselves questions like “Am I a dancer because I come from a broken home?” Or saying to ourselves, “I am a dancer because I was sexually abused as a child” or other stereotypical assumptions people make about people in the sex industry. No one ever says, “I am a doctor because I was sexually abused as a child.” The correlation is ridiculous, as it is with being an adult entertainer.

The fact is that, like any other industry group, entertainers come from every kind of background you can imagine (not just horrendous ones) and usually get into the work for a few different reasons but particularly for the money.

Once in for the money, we find out that there are lots of other perks. Choosing when and where to work. Taking time off whenever we want. Travelling. Writing off expenses at income tax time. Using our creativity and skill to build our shows. Camaraderie with other women. The power and attention that we become accustomed to, and more.

There are different reasons for continuing to choose this work. And most entertainers find it very hard to leave. Not just because of the gap in the resume but because they can’t find jobs they like more.

Most entertainers will go back to sex industry work after they’ve left because they realize they enjoy it far more than any other job they get. And some of these jobs are lucrative. But they just aren’t as fun.

Being an adult entertainer doesn’t make you automatically a victim despite what many feminists say. They say straight out that dancers are too degraded and incompetent to speak for themselves or to even realize their own degradation. This is women oppressing women.

They are so caught up in their own victim mentalities that they can’t see how they are re-creating the oppression they claim to oppose.

The Naked Truth gives permission to entertainers to enjoy their jobs, consider themselves feminists if they’d like, and stop internalizing the shame that is forced upon them by others.

Adult entertainers are people just like every other person in the world, with one distinct difference! They are comfortable with their sexuality.

Information for Our Beloved Benefactors

The Naked Truth is also a tool to teach customers how to treat entertainers. Many of them want to say and do the right thing, but just don’t know what the right thing is. So, we tell customers what we like and don’t like.

For instance, please don’t blow on the entertainer’s cookie. Please don’t say vulgar things. Do give compliments. Do clap after every song. Do tip. Don’t touch the entertainer or pull her blanket towards you. Do smile at the entertainer. Do buy posters. Do know that we appreciate politeness and sincerity.

About Annie Temple

Annie’s decision to start The Naked Truth catapulted her into a career of advocacy and activism.

Although she retired from stripping in 2004 to be home more for her children, she continues to work towards stabilization of the sex industry. She received the Raven Bowen Ho of the Year award in 2008 for her dedication, passion, honour, commitment, courage and strength to create change for sex industry workers.

Annie is currently working on a fantastic project to create health and safety guides for sex industry members across British Columbia. The guides will have invaluable advice for anyone considering a career in or already involved in sex industry work.

This guide will be available on The Naked Truth site when it is complete.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have an issue with the whole "strippers are like any other woman they just comfortable with thier own sexuality."

I don't think so. And this unfairly and wrongly states that other women are not comfortable with their sexuality because they choose not to spread eagle in front of married and partnered men (the majority of men who go to strip clubs do have female partners at home).

Strippers do not express female sexuality (all it does is equate female sexuality with being desired and ignoring that females do have their own sexuality independent from men's wishes to see them naked) as much as they express men's (the desire to see other women naked).

I don't care. Whatever you want to think in order to justify your lifestyle, but please do not degrade other women who you claim are not "comfortable with my sexuality". I am comfortable with my sexuality...so comfortable in fact, that I don't need to portray a false performance of it for money.

Rodney said...

needed to correct my spelling so deleted my last post.


I have had the priviledge of knowing Annie Temple as part of TNT
for the past 4 years.

She has never judged anyone, nor would she. The point she is making is simply that exotic dancers(strippers) have to be comfortable with their own sexuality, It is the only real way of enjoying their job as a job and having a rewarding and relaxing career in their chosen profession.

Choice is after all is said and done the God given right of every person, whether he/she chooses to take her/hsi clothes of in public or not. It really riles me to have judgemental words accreditted to the wrong source.

Annie Temple said...

I suppose I did word that wrong. I believe that lots of women who are not adult entertainers are comfortable with their sexuality. So, I guess that is pretty insulting if I am taken to mean adult entertainers are the ONLY women who are comfortable with their sexuality. Sorry! You might be comfortable with your sexuality (or think you are) but you are obviously NOT comfortable with men's sexuality. You have obviously never been an adult entertainer if you think that strippers do not express female sexuality. Whose sexuality are we expressing then? We can only do what we know how to do. That's why we are each so different and sexy in different ways. THAT is also why (married) men are coming to strip clubs. VARIETY! :) Well. It's true.

Sascha Sexiana said...

wow... so much to respond to. first of all, the greatest thing about people who ride high horses is that the rest of us get to sit back and laugh when they fall.

first of all, we don't have to 'justify' our 'lifestyle'... nor do we have to 'justify' our jobs. dancing is a legal occupation, albeit there's a lot of misconception and stigma around it... but in no way does that mean we have to justify anything.

oh no. we have jobs. we should 'justify' our need for making money. as for getting naked in front of men for money... if you're good at something, don't do it for free!

we don't express female sexuality? have you even BEEN to a strip-club? or is this something you've seen on prime-time tv that you're basing this opinion on? or is this just based on your opinion of what female sexuality 'should' be? because everyone's sexuality and the way THEY choose to express it is different and THEIR OWN choice.

as for dancing for married men, it's not like we hand-pick our audience, those men make their own choices. they choose to be there. just like men choose to watch porn, look through magazines with unclothed or scantily clothed women in them, that's their choice. and why would you judge them for it? the female body is a beautiful thing, why not admire it?

besides, plenty of WOMEN go to strip-clubs, too. plenty of men go with their wives or girlfriends. if a married man is going to a strip-club and that offends his wife, that is between them.

now, please, take your high horse elsewhere, because this sort of judgment and trying to push your opinions on others is just ignorant. oh yes, you're so much better than dancers because you don't take your clothes off for money... you must also be so much better than others who do jobs you consider 'below' you. why not go onto a mcdonald's site and tell them how much better you are. this sort of talk just lowers you in the end.

and notice how the rest of us are so comfortable with our own opinions that we don't need to hide behind anonymity.

Rodney said...

Actually my experience with women in general and strippers epecialy is that they are much more open and expressive of their sexuality than this guy ever would be.

I cant be alone in having difficulty kissing a girlfriend in public ? Anyone who knows me knows how easy I blush.

A guy tends to exhibit his sexuality in small ways. Most dancers are tons more open

So I really question whether a women is likely to act out a mans sexuality ? Her nature is to act out her own.

Rodney said...

Yes Strippers do act as male members of the audience would like them to .

It is called showmanship. As I guy I dont find male bodies interesting, but women of course are of interest. It is simple chemistry.

Anonymous said...

OK so pretty much strippers think they are portraying female sexuality? Please enlighten everyone and let us know exactly when female sexuality became "let me be naked for the pleasure of men"? Are females only sexual when they are naked? When they bare thier breasts or spread their legs? Because that is not sexuality. That is a naked body. Men don't need to be naked to be considered "sexual". As far as I'm concerned "sexuality" is a state of being, a feeling, a sensuality. I can be completely sexual and sexy and seductive while wearing clothes..and have many a man tell me that. I don't need to pretend I am sexual by saying "hey I am naked". I know you are likely not that educated. But I have a PhD and I did my MA on strippers. And all of them said the same thing: they do it for money, and they pretend they are sexy to get money. THat is not thier sexuality or sexual desires they express. It is men's sexual desires they express. And Strippers learn to act the way they do, because it is what gives them money. If they do a certain act, and no one responds they wont do it again. Thier "choice" of what sexuality they perform is always limited and conditioned by the desires of men.

On a side note, I really really love how strippers justify how the majority of thier clients are married are have girlfriends. Just shows they have no shame and don't care. ANd dont tell me its the man's choice. Is it the man's choice when a stripper pulls of his pants and gives him a hj or bj? You can justify all you want.But whatever stigma you get is warranted. Strippers are strippers...and increasingly prostitutes (selling sex and the illusion of sex for money)...they are not "dancers" (which I know that many legitimate dancers are insulted by the comparison) nor do they want to face up to what exactly they do.

P.S. I have been to a strip club and I have known male and female strippers. I have also known marriages and relationships that were ruined by strippers. I would say male strippers its all in the fun of it. Female strippers have currently taken it to a new low, where strip clubs are just socially approved places to cheat and strippers are normalized mistresses.

Russ_LightDreams said...

"I know you are likely not that educated. But I have a PhD and I did my MA on strippers."

I call bullshit. Anyone who has any extensive experience with the community, knows that your entire description of them and that "the ONLY reason that they do what they do is for the money" is completely wrong.

You're completely making up stuff to justify your own beliefs.

MC master. said...

I work in a stripclub,done it for years.Left for a while,but came back,because it is the most enjoyable wotrk environment ever.
Not only do dancers get naked,but I encourage and expect female members of the audience to do the same.
So,negative nelly, you're rant about knowing male and female strippers,bull.
Female strippers ruining marriages?Bull.And if they do,it was because the wife(or in rare cases husbands) did'nt keep up their end of the bargain.
Just because you're on a diet,don't mean you can't look at a menu.
Maybe you should go out and buy a pair of clear heels and a gstring,and give a dance for your "mate".
Maybe you wont lose him to the allure of a beautiful naked chick.

Annie Temple said...

LMAO MC Master!!!

Anonymous said...

Still waters run deep....some are deeper, or in this case more complex then others.

I do not know were you live, but I would suggest to you that acording to geographical area, Exotic Dance can be very different. "Stripper" is a generic word, but unfortunatly it has been associated to common conontations & stereotypes. From Thailand, to South Cape, Queensland & Britain, "Strippers" do many things that their respective counterparts might never consider.

You have expressed your offense about how (admiteldly )Annie did not word herself as best she could of....ok, we get that- what bugs me is when you say you do not care....sounds impetchulant. Grow up & move on.

Exotic dance in all it's forms is not for everyone. To be an ecceptional entertainer in a LIVE & NUDE venue with very high expectations is not something that a lot of dancers can actually pull off....just think on that & realise that it is showbuisness....have you ever been to Vegas, or Paris & seen the Showgirls at the dance halls? You do realise that they are being debaised by you too non?

We are adult nude live performers, it is a very demanding occupation, come down a notch & just publically recognise this & you will not come off to the ENTIRE GLOBE as a feather light with tunnel vision.
We encourage you to expand your reading to other subjects-educate yourself & still try to be so rigid in your preconsieved bigotry.
P.S.
If you can make it to prosper in this perticular form of dance, it reveals a lot about ones self...my self so fare to the furtherment.
Best of luck to you- Sweetykins

Alison said...

wow... anonymous #1... honey, you're either very bored and need blind misplaced hatred to amuse you somehow, or you should see someone about your problems instead of taking them out on a broad group of people you know nothing about.

is this how you got your 'education' on strippers? spewing hatred and prejudice on the internet? you must've gone out of your way to find this site, and you obviously went out of your way to type up those responses... so i just assume you're a bored individual with nothing better to do or should seek other forms of help.

i'm not even sure i should be justifying your comments with a response, but, here i am, also bored with nothing better to do at the moment. though, in retrospect, an episode of quantum leap looks much more appealing than this.

yes, men are being taken advantage of sexually, that must be exactly what happens.... even in the event of such a thing happening, which i, in my ever so limited experience of working the circuit for over 4 years (nothing compared to doing your MA on strippers or 'knowing' a few, right?) never saw.... there is no way that a woman can actually FORCE a man into a sexual act without the man having a say in it.

oh yes, the men are the victims, they are dragged into stripclubs and forced to watch beautiful naked women while the bouncers steal their walletts... what the hell parallel universe did you come from, honey?

i just get the idea that perhaps your bitterness is far more personal than you let on, with all your talk of strippers being man-stealers and all... but really, that's a ridiculous thing to take out an entire community. take your emotional baggage to another luggage check, please.

the wonders of an education is that you only get out of it what you are willing to let in... so if you went into an education with preconceived notions and a closed mind, you would only pay attention to and absorb the things that support your viewpoint....

....kind of like how a white supremacist will read Lord of the Rings and assume somehow in his twisted way that Tolkien was referring to white supremacy when Saruman the White falls from grace and becomes Saruman of All Colours.

Varg Vikernes has written many such 'interpretations' of lord of the rings..... even with the intellect he possesses, his own bigotry creates a tunnel vision that only leads to support his delusion.

and though i'm sure nothing will change your own brand of bigotry, you could at least keep your judgments to yourself. if you're a religious person, perhaps you should consider the fact that God is the one who passes judgment, not mankind.

- Sascha Sexiana, who refuses to be an 'anonymous' coward.

The Reverend said...

I've been a part of managing a stripclub for almost 16 years. We've got so many female members in our audience, it makes me laugh at Anonymous' stereo-type of stripclub attendees; "married and partnered men". Couples even frequent our bar. Bah!

If you lived outside of a shell during the 90's you'd have to be deaf and blind to have missed how sexuality in general changed. Like it or not, that's life.

Sounds to me like you have a subscription rather than an issue.

Sassy Scarlett said...

Hey Anonymous,

Not ALL 'strippers' spread their legs. Some of us are actually shy. Some of us are true entertainers. Some of us are really into music, like the stage, sew our own costumes and KNOW we don't have to justify a stinking thing about our lives.

I certainly have never given a 'false performance' for money. I certainly don't believe that blaming the girl on stage makes any sort of sense with regards to the majority of cliental being married and partnered men whom regular strip clubs. I also believe that if I were married or partnered, the relationship would be fulfilling enough for him to choose me over 'them' any day. I suppose there could be exceptions, but not in my reality. I personally happen to be celibate and have been for long enough, (by choice) which goes against your overly judgmental theories.

I am myself everyday, I get dressed and undressed just the same as anyone else. But if for some reason, Agents and Clubs want to book me to dance around on a stage and wait til the last 30 seconds of the last song to disrobe... well, it beats working for Starbucks! I have never found such a creative outlet in a job, (NOT career, NOT lifestyle) until dancing.

I must admit, my first 'stripper' experience wasn't overly selling me on the industry, nor were some of the girls I'd met thus far. Five+ years in, I've learnt that each girl has their own reason for doing this job, including my theory of conquering the shit out of teenage insecurities. I've seen more than a handful of drunken twenty-somethings that obviously enjoy the attention, hell-it's an ego boost! Who'd be against that? I like feeling good about myself regardless of other's opinions, yet I'm still full of gratitude when I receive compliments.

If I'd written Annie's article, I would have said 'Most dancers are like every other woman out there, but more comfortable with their sexuality.' Really though, it's just words. They can be taken 40 000 ways. I believe the 'issue' you have is really something in your sub-conscience begging to jump out. Or, keep playing victim since it seems to be doing wonders for you AND your spelling.

Ps Anonymous, if you were really all that comfortable with your sexuality, you'd be well aware that dancing can be a form of empowerment and creative freedom which generally has ZERO to do with the man's desire to watch woman undress. Clearly, you DO care. People like you whom attack stranger's jobs should really think about watching Fight Club again. Maybe even read the book? Careful, you might learn something. (Although I'm not betting on it.)
Oh, and if we're so different... TRY and spot me on the street. You won't be able to ;)

Rodney said...

One last point.

I have only been going into Strip clubs since July 15 2005.

This is a date I remember as a true learning day.

I always assumed that all strippers were just "bad girls" waiting to be exploited by men.

I quickly learned that these ladies had brains of their own and could and did teach me a lot about many subjects. How not to judge a book by its nkaed cover for a big first lesson.

I cant see how doing a research project on Strippers can possibly give you a true picture of them.

I know, I tried to do a MA paper on them and found the topic just too complex for any one researcher.

Now I just sit back on occassion and enjoy the talent and skill of these lovely human beings.

CoMeWiTmEE said...

My boyfriend used to work as a bouncer at strip club for a long time, and even though he and i disagree about strippers (he thinks they are valuable human beings and I dont think they offer anything of value...and I cant wait for the day when strip clubs decline (which they ARE!).

Anyway, what he and I both agree on is that those women are NOT beautiful. Its all about lighting and the darkness and covering up ugly bodies with makeup and ugly implants.

Sure they are skinny and easy...but that doesn't make someone beautiful. Also, truth be told any man would want to see any woman naked - so strippers are 7not performing any great feat. Also I have no fear of being sexual and wearing costume and being sexy. But my sexiness is FOR ME. Not for some disgusting anonymous men.

I've been reading these comments, and all i can add to the person who talked about the "Sexual revolution and changing sexual mores". Have any of you strippers and stripper=defenders noted that 'sexual mores' have not changed. Its only women that get naked for men, and only women that pose naked (because apparently female celebrities, althletes, singers etc..need to be naked to show thier worth). Discourse surrounding male sexuality has not changed. Where are the naked men in movies? (other than for comedic effect). Sexuality hasnt changed. Society has just brainwashed women to think they are making empowered choices, but all they are doing is abiding by old patriarchal standards that women's worth is tied to thier vagina..and fake implants (i will never refer to them as breasts...because they have nothing in common with them).

Sascha Sexiana said...

i don't have time for a long-winded response this time, so i'll just say...

American Psycho - Christian Bale in the shower.

Wolverine - i STILL haven't seen it, but will see it for Hugh Jackman's ass.

that's just right off the top of my head.

nevermind male strippers, playgirl, cosmo's "man without a shirt" and other such issues.

seen male fragrance ads? ever? come on, crawl out from under the rock you've been hiding under, male sexuality is everywhere.

DjBooth said...

Wow, to anonymous and comewitmee, you're fucked. I have been going to strip clubs since i was 16 and never have i had a hj or a bj.Maybe im going to the wrong places? Also i have to agree with sassy, during the time i dj'd i found at that a lot of dancers(fuck you call them strippers,i will call them dancers), were in fact shy, more so than a lot of other women.Having worked in bars my entire life i can say there's been many servers with less insecurity issues than dancers and who might as well been taking there clothes off , to make good tips you wear next to nothing there's no dress code they choose to where that.What you need to do is pull your head out of your ass and realize its a new era, in the last 5 yrs i have noticed more and more women frequenting these clubs so say what you want. This industry has always struggled with stigma, and its come along way from the ol days. Ive met dancers who are married, going to school, getting actual phds as opposed to your bullshit one, and live completely normal lives and are not "easy". These women are entertainers when you see a dancer put on a good show and work the crowd its just like any other entertainer doing there thing. You may think all men would like to see any women naked, and we do but, if you've seen bad dancers you know it doesn't matter how naked she is,or what kind of fuckin lights you put on, you go play pool and wait for the next one. In closing you are entitled to your opinion but your opinion is a fucking small minded shitty one.

PS i apologize for the language, its just you are such a couple of total fucking idiots.I know you'll say all the language shows my lack intellect, in which case you need to watch "FUCK the documentary"

Life is a never ending school.

Annie said...

Well, thanks for the rousing debate, everyone! I think this is the most comments I've had on one article ever! I wish ppl would argue on my blog more often! lol xoxoxoxoxox

Anonymous said...

PART ONE
Responding to "Anonymous" and anyone else here who has spoken negatively about strippers/exotic dancers/peelers...no matter the name these women have athletic prowess that enables them to climb and perform on a pole...Don't believe me then go to your local playground and try to pull yourself up on the fireman pole there.

They are entertainers as much as A List Hollywood stars such as Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie,or Sharon Stone. All of these women have either gone nude, topless, or had sex scenes on screen yet are applauded because they are movie stars not lowly strippers or porn stars. Hmmm double standards then?

As to exotic dancers ruining marriages...Honey they were already in jeopardy, or on the way to divorce court before the man entered a club. So many men come to strip clubs to enjoy beautiful women who will NOT bitch, complain or heap burdens on them. Many men are also in sexless marriages so for them the only thrill they may get is watching a girl in a club or a VIP.

I am not a dancer but it is ME who drags my husband to the strip clubs. He has no desire to go to them but I enjoy going very much and haul him to as many as I am able! I love watching the dancers and as an artist can appreciate them in ways most others cannot.

Honestly men who frequent strip clubs are no more than ATM machines...screw the drink just give me the money...I honestly don't want you honey. So if you think the stripper is after your man pardon me while I roll on the floor laughing.

Exploited maybe there are some dancers who are but as a rule dancers are the ones exploiting men who are ready to part with cash for the enjoyment of watching women work what their moms gave em.

From my perspective, as an exhibitionist, that means I get off when people see "flashes" or complete nudity shown by me. It also means when I am acting sexual, or doing a sexual act I get off knowing someone might be or is watching me. Could it be that dancers are exhibitionists? Fancy that eh?

Sultry "the enlightened housewife"

Anonymous said...

PART TWO
From my perspective, as an exhibitionist, that means I get off when people see "flashes" or complete nudity shown by me. It also means when I am acting sexual, or doing a sexual act I get off knowing someone might be or is watching me. Could it be that dancers are exhibitionists? Fancy that eh?

What dancers have done for money I have done for free both in public and private places where I was in control and the men and women who viewed had to behave or the show was off and they would leave disappointed.

For me the body is an artistic work of that should be displayed and enjoyed to either a select or general audience.

In Europe women go bare breasted on beaches as a rule not an exception, African tribes have women proudly display their breasts and they are not to be covered, nudism is still thriving and clothing optional areas are all over. "Disgusting men" can oogle women in such places for free, and have deviant thoughts towards them but nothing is ever said.

Ignorance and jealousy creates the stigma over dancers in strip clubs and the clubs they dance in.

Dancers as in strippers have helped this little housewife get over her body issues, given me tips to keep my man interested and aroused, and have challenged me to come out of my box, and embrace my inner exhibitionist. These dancers have enhanced my marriage, not destroyed it. My husband doesn't feel the need to go to strip clubs when he has a dancer and exhibitionist at home.

Also in response to "Anonymous" saying "
Strippers do not express female sexuality (all it does is equate female sexuality with being desired and ignoring that females do have their own sexuality independent from men's wishes to see them naked) as much as they express men's (the desire to see other women naked)."

Sorry but I disagree. Sexuality is not as simple as all that. Sexuality is as complex as the people here on the planet. There are lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals, pansexuals, straight, gay, and polyamorous, just to name a few variations on sex.

Dancers perform not just for sick pervy men but lesbians, and bisexual women who lust too.

Women's sexuality is rooted in being desired, thought of as pretty or beautiful. Wearing tight clothes, showing cleavage, putting on make up, getting hair done, wearing high hem lines and heels, bikinis etc. is all an effort to be more desirable and to gain the attention of either the opposite sex, the same sex, or even both.

Anonymous and anyone else here who has issues with strippers, stop being so hard on yourself and then you won't be so hard on dancers.

Sultry "the enlightened housewife"

Mz. Scream said...

"I know you are likely not that educated. But I have a PhD and I did my MA on strippers."

Your hilarious! You paid $40 000 to study exotic dancers, and then bash them on a former dancers blog?

Get a life! If you knew anything about exotic dancers you would have never have wrote that.

You actually think exotic dancers don't know how to go to school? Many dancers become nurses, teachers, lawyers...

And you never learned this during all those years getting your PhD? Which group of strippers were you studying?

Just because obviously you learned fuck all doesn't mean you should impose your ignorance and judgmental ideas on innocent people.

You should apologize for causing harm to exotic dancers. I know everyone has been biting their lip and holding back on lashing out on you, as they have personal restraint and class.

Maybe you should think twice before writing such crap.

"On a side note, I really really love how strippers justify how the majority of thier clients are married are have girlfriends. Just shows they have no shame and don't care. ANd dont tell me its the man's choice. Is it the man's choice when a stripper pulls of his pants and gives him a hj or bj?"

Why are men demonized for watching naked ladies dance? The dancers have beautiful bodies, and many can do amazing acrobatics...

Maybe the complaining wives should join their husbands and have a little fun! Or seek sex therapy with instead of blaming the dancers for having sexual dysfunction in the relationship. He's either a voyeur and you should be supportive of his sexuality, or he's not satisfied with you.

On another note, I don't believe it's common practice for dancers to pull off a mans pants and give him a hj or bj. In BC to my understanding most venues are no-contact dances.

I am female and watching dancers is one of my favorite past times.I even know man/woman couples who have bought VIP dances together. I have enjoyed a private dance with 2 of my girlfriends as well.

I think someone needs to be sexually revolutionized here! I could not even imagine being upset with my man watching exotic dancers. As long as he is safe, and is happy...then I am happy too.

Anonymous said...

Bottom line ALL men look, ALL men fantasize, and ALL men love the curve of a set of breasts, and bottom...unless they are gay.

Should we curse men for their natural instincts...A man is a man and is supposed to have sexual urges and desires for women. They are supposed to be turned on by women.

If my man gets off on a dancer or woman on the street but then "takes it out" on me when he gets home YAY!!!!!!!! That means I reap the benefits and both of us are happy adults with wicked grins!

Even if he is fantasizing he is with her while he is enjoying me who cares!

Strip Clubs are all about fantasy as much as Tolkien, or Hollywood movies, or even porn.

Sometimes the fantasy can enhance the reality.

You can be the woman who drives your man into strip clubs, online porn sites, online dating or sex sites and/or an affair, or you can drive him wild.

My husband feels he has scored the lottery jackpot with me since I have no hangups or issues with strip clubs, or him looking at, or having naughty thoughts about other women. It makes him feel he is with the hottest woman alive. It also makes him hot enough for me that he wants to manhandle me.

Jealousy, hate , and insecurity are so NOT sexy.

I may not be in Penthouse But I am my husband's Pet of the Year. I may not be a Playboy bunny but I am sure as hell his Playmate and partner in crime!

Sultry "the enlightened housewife"i